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Dear ESB: Is it okay to UN-invite people?

November 22, 2011

Ack, this is not a good situation to be in, is it? Apparently it’s a common dilemma though. Sometimes when the reality of your wedding sets in, you change your mind. And you know what? That’s okay. Let’s see what East Side Bride says.


We’ve run into an issue on the guest list… 

When we initially began planning we were going to have a large wedding (we both have huge families), we got all the addresses, told people they were invited, yada yada yada. Fast forward to now and we’re thinking we’d rather go light on the wedding and spend more on the honeymoon. We’d like to cut the guest list by at least two thirds, but we’re afraid of hurt feelings.

Should we suck it up and invite the people we said we were going to invite, or could we politely explain to them that we’ve changed direction and we’re having a small, intimate ceremony?


Mkay. I answered this question once before, but I think I sort of muffed it.

There’s no shame in downsizing your wedding (provided that people haven’t already bought plane tickets, booked hotel rooms, etc). But you do owe a personal phone call/explanation to everyone you are un-inviting.

Note: Be sure to focus on the “small, intimate ceremony” bit. No need to tell em, YAY NOW WE CAN SPEND MORE $$ ON THE HONEYMOON!!

Photo by Gabor Jurina