3 Jun

Who says you have to dedicate your total mental capacity and every bit of emotional energy to planning your wedding for an entire year? We sometimes do. Maybe. It’s just that we just get wrapped up in the details. But there’s this other take on getting married that resonates just as deeply, and requires far less obsessing.

Months ago when we saw this super sweet wedding on We Met in a Bar, we thought, “Awwww. A surprise wedding. How awesome!” And as we scrolled through the photos on the photographer’s blog, Kristina realized that 2 of her friends were actually at the wedding. Surprise! She quickly got in touch with dear friend and 100LC reader Becky, (what’s up, Becky!), to get the scoop.

It was such a good story, we had to share the it here. The idea that you could scrap all the plans you’d started and turn your engagement party into a wedding in one week, (because the getting married was all you really cared about anyway) is just so refreshing and lovely. And such a good good reminder of what this whole wedding thing is about, right?

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And now we present, a DIY tutorial in how to plan your wedding in 7 days. This might require a little reading, but we cried into our keyboards the first time we read it. (How unusual.) And we’ve interspersed pictures for your viewing pleasures.

Marisa and her husband got engaged a few days before Christmas last year. In the interest of remaining sane, and giving each other a little time to enjoy being engaged, they made a pact not to start planning until February. Nice idea, in theory. But apparently not practical. As much as Marisa told herself she didn’t want all the traditional stuff, she couldn’t help starting down the inevitable bridal obsession path: registry, shower, venue, date, dress, flowers, wedding party! She literally found herself crying every day purely out of panic and confusion. She was totally overwhelmed.

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In the meantime, her mom decided to throw them an engagement party at Marisa’s grandparents’ house in Brentwood. The invites went out, the planning was simple and pretty much done. It was the only part of the whole wedding thing she was excited about. (This is foreshadowing at it’s finest, no?)

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Wedding planning slowly stated to progress. They wanted to get married in Mammoth, but their families didn’t like the idea, so they settled on a winery in Santa Ynez. Which was great, except John and Marisa had never even been wine tasting together. They weren’t that excited about it, but it was fine. Their wedding planner came over, spent 5 hours planning the Santa Inez wedding with them, and that was that.

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(quickly, how AMAZING is the back of her dress!?)

Later that day on her way up to LA for a friend’s birthday party, Marisa filled her mom in over the phone about the Santa Ynez plan. Her mom, being wise as mom’s generally are, sensed that Marisa wasn’t thrilled. She told her mom she was REALLY excited about their engagement party the following weekend.

“I wish we were getting married next weekend and surprising all the guests!”

And her mom (wise, again) said, “Well, why don’t you?”

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Marisa’s first reaction was, that’s crazy. There’s no way I can get everything together in 6 days. And her mom gently reminded her that when she wants something done, she generally has a way of making it happen. Epiphany moment.

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Marisa called her dad for his advice, which was (remember these words, brides to be):

“Whatever is going to make you and John happy. Just make sure that you get everything you want and need out of your wedding day so that you don’t have any regrets. This is about you and John and nobody else… do what you guys want to do and everyone else will follow.”

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She called their wedding planner, the band she wanted to hire, her photographer who she’d already hired, and everyone was available on March 7th. Next she has to tell John. Who initially thinks it’s another crazy wedding idea until he sees the light. He has just received every man’s fantasy tied up with a bow: plan his wedding for 7 more days instead of 7 more months. He’s totally and completely on board, obvs.

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The ensuing 6 days are madness. Marisa calls work and takes the week off. She tells her best friend that she’s her maid of honor and they head directly to the Montclaire Collection in Santa Monica where she’s already found her dream dress. Of course it normally takes 6 months to order, but the women in the shop call the owner and sell her the sample at a discounted price that day. Things are falling into place.

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Next they have to expand their guest list a little, plus make sure that all the really important peeps are coming. Some have to fly in from out of town so they tell those friends their secret in order to ensure that they’ll make the trip.

The dress gets tailored (in 5 days, with 3 alterations), Marisa picks up two rings at Lakal Jewelry, meets with their wedding planner (who is now planning an entirely different wedding), secures the caterer (their favorite Mexican food restaurant), they meet with their minister, they buy a suit for John and ties for the groomsmen. Next they call their groomsmen and bridesmaids and ask them to be in their wedding. But they don’t let on when it’s going to be. They just tell them to come a few minutes early to the party on Saturday because they have gifts for them.

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Friday Marisa gets her nails done, packs her bags and runs last minute errands all day. She and John and a bridesmaid down from San Francisco have a quiet and semi-nervous dinner at home. And then it’s Saturday. They drive to LA, John picks up his suit and checks them into Shutters for their wedding night. Marisa gets her hair and makeup done and then she waits. And time is just creeping by. When you’re throwing a surprise wedding, imagine how anxious you are for the party!

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One by one Marisa’s bridesmaids arrive at her grandparents’ house. And when they see her all dressed up as a bride, they totally freak out. The rest of the party arrives and Marisa’s brother Chad gathers everyone in the foyer to give a welcome toast. At the end of his speech he starts to get emotional and tells everyone he has some good news and some bad news.

“The bad news is that with all the crying and 1000 different people to please with the wedding planning, Marisa and John have decided to end their engagement today”… CRICKETS IN THE ROOM. “But I am completely honored to announce that they will be getting married tonight!”

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The house errupted in to cheers. The party moved outside where the ceremony was set up and the surprise wedding began.

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From Marisa:

“It was by far the most amazing day and experience of my life! The day was all about John and I and our marriage…nothing else mattered that day other than the fact that we got married in front of our family and very closest friends. We got exactly what we have always wanted- memorable!

I am convinced that the day happened because of the grace of my grandfather above. He passed away early December of 2008 and wanted nothing more that for John and I to be married. There was a 60% chance of rain that Saturday and it ended up being a perfectly clear night.”

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Congratulations, Marisa and John! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

Venue: Family home in Brentwood / Planner/Florals: Lush Fine Flowers / Dress: Romona Keveza purchased at the Montclaire Collection in Santa Monica. (For the curious: the belt/sash came with the dress) / Photography: Studio 7 Photography / Catering: El Cholo Restaurant

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Comments

  1. Wow, what an amazing story. That really makes me wish I was having a surprise wedding. But with almost one year down and a little over 3 months to go, I guess it’s not really worth it. lol

  2. I love this story! It really does make you remember what’s important. Family, friends, and love.

  3. I love that they did this – so moving – really makes you remember the important part of “getting married”. I, in some ways, wish I had done the same (I am very familiar with the panic and the pleasing and the wishing it were here already!). Thank you for sharing this.
    I wanted to ask the bride a question (if possible)…I have a very similar dress and have been looking for a belt like the one she wore (I am guess it is a belt since there are pictures of the dress without it- otherwise I would never know!). Can she share where she might have found it?

  4. So fabulous! I think a one week wedding planning on steroids is probably easier to manage than 7 months, in some ways. You definitely have less time to worry!

  5. so, i’ve seen a few of these pics , and got a general sense of what happened, via other blogs – but reading this full story was so fantastic. and i’m ashamed (but not really) to say that i definitely started tearing up while reading this. i totally don’t care about any of the wedding fiasco, and love LOVE LOVE this beyond belief. thanks for sharing :)

  6. Oh my gosh, that is an amazing story! I love the idea of something quick and small. I also kind of love that the wedding party essentially wore whatever they came in. Makes the bride and groom more of a focus. Plus, her dress = awesome!

  7. What a touching and lovely story. I am honestly holding back tears reading it. It all turned out so beautifully! Congratulations to the new couple and thanks for sharing.

  8. best. story. ever!

    i’m late for work so i really shouldn’t have stuck around to read this, but i couldn’t help it! her dress is gorgeous, that house is beautiful, and the reactions on the guests’ faces…so priceless!

  9. Thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m not feeling well this morning, but this post really brightened my day!

  10. Oh my. What a beautiful story and the photographer caught it all just right.
    I had to hold back tears because this story is so sweet!!
    Thanks for sharing.

  11. This is awesome for so many reasons. I too am planning a surprise wedding which is going to pose as an engagement party. I’m not doing it in a week, though, so I give Marisa a lot of credit! It’s also funny because they had their wedding on my bday. It’s a sign! ; o )

  12. yes yes yes. loved the wedding when i first read about it. loved it when you retold it. so beautiful.

  13. so cute! and man that dress is stunning.

  14. Hooray! I saw the photos of this fabulous shindig a while back, but I’m so happy to finally know the story behind them.

    My fiance and I are also planning a surprise wedding, set to go down on June 20th. The reasoning behind our decision was essentially the same as Marisa and Johns: we were overwhelmed by all of the expectations and tasks involved in planning a more traditional wedding, and one day I realized that I’d cried more in our short engagement than I had in my entire adult life beforehand. NOT OK!

    Like Marisa and John, there are some key people in the know already, but most of our guests believe they’ll be attending a surprise birthday party for me. I can not wait to see the looks on their faces when they find out what’s really going on!

  15. Oh man, I’m sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes! THIS is what a wedding is all about! Thanks so much for sharing!

  16. Aaaaaand cue the waterworks. That note from Marisa there at the end did me in. I’d seen the pictures and heard the basic story from Heather (We Met in a Bar), but it was nice to hear all the extra details!

    And some of my favourite photos from this are the reactions of the bridesmaids as they arrived. Priceless!

  17. I LOVE this idea. My middle daughter got married last summer – and it was a beautiful wedding – however, all the stress that we went through wasn’t pleasant. Thanks for putting a smile on my face and a tear in my eye today… good luck to you both! Finding the person to complete your life is one of the most wonderful gifts.

  18. This just made me feel awesome.
    We had a similar story: we were so excited to be engaged, but so stressed to be planning a wedding. Added to this was the stress that my parents found out they were moving away during my “ideal” December date. My husband was looking into buying a motorcycle, and asked his dad whether he liked the idea. He looked him in the eye and said, “First, you need to marry that girl.”

    We got married two weeks later. In a small, simple, lovely outdoor ceremony at a local garden. He cried and I smiled. We held the reception at my in-laws huge backyard.

    We’ll be married for five years this August.
    And he has a sweet motorcycle.

  19. THANK YOU….I got engaged this past MARCH and I am getting married in AUGUST. People thought that was quick. Now I can’t wait to forward them this story. You guys are the best. thanks for sharing this story.

  20. this so brought tears to my eyes. How exciting and I thought I planned my wedding fast. I atleast had few months.

  21. I absolutely love this story. So romantic and exciting!

  22. wow – what a beautiful, amazing and inspiring story. thanks for posting!

  23. Honestly, that story made me tear up. I’m such a suck for love stories.
    Thanks for posting this beautiful wedding!

  24. That is just the coolest story ever. I have goosebumps.

  25. Such a happy looking couple. :) I love her wedding dress!

  26. I have loved this story fromt he moment I saw it. J and I actually tried to pull something similar off, but too many of our nearest and dearest couldn’t make it. With us living 16 hours away from our parents, it didn’t happen. We planned a lovely wedding for this July instead, but I will always remember the wedding that never was!

  27. I absolutely love this post! This kind of scenario is not something you hear very often but just goes to show that sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind and everything will turn out all right as long as you remain a little flexible. I’m so glad the bride and groom did what made them happy in the end because that’s really what it’s all about! I can’t imagine a more fun surprise to spring on family and friends!

  28. How incredible. :)
    I too had tears in my eyes as I read this story and looked at the photos.
    How fun!

    The bride is wearing the same dress I’ll be wearing in October of this year.
    For the reader who asked about the belt, the belt comes with the dress.
    You can get it in the blue color like this bride wore or a neutral color like I chose. :)

  29. I just sat here with a gigantic corny smile on my face for the whole five minutes it took me to read this. what an amazing story/wedding!!

  30. amazing – and such a nice reality check for a bride just starting to plan a year out to not sweat the small things. And what better catering than El Cholo!

  31. What gorgeous photos!! I love that dress…. if I had it to do over again, I would choose something just like that…

  32. Unbelievably tempting. Everyone I know who has had a surprise wedding has not regretted their decision. Only that it took so long to decide that’s what they should do.

  33. i think this is my fate because im not even engaged (to my bf of 6 years) and im already freaking out about my wedding, and not to mention march 7th is my bday and so many weird coincidences happen in my life regarding that date. sign me up!

  34. What a beautiful evening it was. Son John C. Tatum is one happy guy as his Mother Dr. Marlene Tatum and I are also. We love our new Daughter-in-Law Marisa more than she will ever know.!

  35. That is so cool! Love the story.

  36. This is hands down the most wonderful wedding I’ve ever read about. It is the alpha and omega of everything a wedding should be: joyous, sincere, sane and true to the couple.

  37. What a cool wedding! Sometimes I wish I’d done that in retrospect. Southwest Airlines magazine did a “get married in 7 days” article a couple of years back.

    BTW- I LOVE El Cholo and that’s where my husband and I had our first date.

    PS – I love that wedding dress

  38. OMG, love this story. It’s so touching!

  39. what a beautiful story! i love her dress and the priceless looks on her friends’ faces!

  40. This was the most touching wedding story. When I think of being married that sounds like exactly what I want to do. Everyone is right the dress is just beautiful.

  41. Perfect!
    and any photographer worth their salt will love it too!!!! What an opportunity for great expressions! Kudos!

  42. I actually got chills when I read that, when her brother announced that they would be getting married that night.
    amazing, amazing story.

  43. so charming. and, hello? those parents! such lovely, wise advice–and they actually meant it!

  44. Oh my gosh! I love that story! It is beautiful…. I only wish I had thought of it!

  45. John is our son, and Marisa is our new daughter in-law and we could not be any happier. The night was perfect, Marisa and John were perfect and the wedding was perfect. What a wonderful wedding.

  46. amazing story!

  47. I linked this to my Friday Dance! Feel free to check it out!

  48. Amazing story! Thanks for sharing :o )

  49. I ADORE this story – I think I’ve read it three times. I especially love the pictures of the friends/bridesmaid’s reactions – you can almost hear them screaming and laughing through the pictures!

    Well done!

  50. I love Studio 7 Photography. Those guys are amazing. This story is so cute. I’m glad they are doing our wedding.

  51. this has got to be my favorite wedding, hands down. beautiful. everything a wedding should be.

  52. So amazing! I really wish that would work for me! congratulations to them!

  53. Okay that was amazing. Seriously, I’m without words. I SO wish we could do something like that- how fantastic!

  54. That’s such a sweet story and beautiful pictures. When it’s meant to be, it always works out.

  55. That. Story. Freaking. RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Unbelievably romantic, mad-cap, fun and REAL. WOW.

  56. I just cried. My wedding is in 22 days and I sooooooooo would have rather done this. Congrats and what a great idea.

  57. Wow! This brought tears to my eyes too! I can completely relate to Marissa- the wedding planning has been a huge source of stress for me. Two months to go, and as much as I’m looking forward to getting married, I’m looking forward to being done getting married! :-)

  58. What a beautiful dress. What a beautiful Bride.

  59. After reading this one I realised I’d spent the day looking for ideas to make my wedding day phenomenal and in the last five minutes I’ve tearfully realised that it’s all worth it if you have your priorities right. It’s you and him and that’s all that matters

  60. goosebumps. crying. love it.

  61. What an amazing story!! It sounds like some i would have done with a little prodding and the suggestion on the table!! How wonderful it is for something like that to transpire in a week!!! I might try it with my children, once their old enough, after i have them…lol I’ve got a while.. It’s only been 10 months since i got married! :)

  62. I agree. I teared up. This is such a great, great idea. Way to go mom! And way to listen Kristina. Best wishes you both!!

  63. I am extremely impressed that everything came together so well! The pictures are lovely. I teared up a little, too…

  64. This gets me right in the gut every time I look at it. I love the sentiment, the choice of substance over form and the friend’s reactions. Thanks so much for reminding us and posting this.

  65. Love the story and such a beautiful wedding dress!

  66. Wonderful blog posting, love the story and the pictures! If fiance and I wouldnt live 5000 miles away from each other I would def go for this too :)

  67. This is an amazing story!

    Congrats!

  68. Great story & great idea. What fun! :)

  69. What a truly romantic & inspring story! I am in LoVE with this dress; do you happen to know who the designer is?!?

  70. I wish you happiness.

  71. Can I buy your dress from you? No joke :) It’s beautiful and exactly what i’ve been looking for! (and would more than appreciate it!!!)!!!! :) :)

  72. Beautiful! I’m all teary and weepy (at the romance of it all) and Mister is just shaking his head (in agreement at planning a wedding in 7 days instead of 7 months).

  73. Such a beautiful story and a lovely couple. I am planning a large wedding next year, and already find myself caught up in the planning. Sometimes we need to take a step back and remember what all the planning is for. Thanks for sharing!

  74. Congratulations and much happiness

  75. OMG~~~ so sweet!!!!
    it’s really amusing that i cry and smile at the same time while reading the story^^
    especially when Marissa said it all because of the grace from her grandad~~
    love it love it love it:p

  76. Does anyone know the designer of the wedding dress? I am getting married on the beach in Key West and that is exactly what I am looking for!

    Thanks!

  77. Wow… i am sitting in a coffee shop reading this and practically bawling over my laptop at how adorable this story is. I am such a fan of couples who are brave enough to be spontaneous.. it looks like they had a blast! Such a memorable time.. and they won’t regret it! It’s important to remember that is about you and your spouse on this day and being HAPPY!

  78. i’m not sure why but i’m crying right now! what a beautiful story and wedding. i think it was the photos that did it :) those night photos are so pretty. it’s lovely to see a wedding where the focus isn’t necessarily on the details like centerpieces or flowers but in family, friends, and the happiness of the bride and groom. congratulations and thank you for sharing!

  79. What an amazing mother knowing just what her daughter needed and wanted. Bravo, Mom!

  80. Absolutely lovely wedding!! I am getting married soon and this wedding is one that dreams are made of! I was wondering about the designer of this dress the beautiful bride is wearing. I have been looking for one like this and have yet to find one! If you could let me know that would be amazing!!!! Thank you!

  81. Looks like it all worked out well. How exciting it must have been!

  82. I cried when I read this.. because I know exactly how she feels! My husband and I did the same thing! We sent out engagement party invitations and surprised everyone by getting married! It’s the most incredible feeling knowing that our wedding wasn’t about table number, flowers, and favors–it was about us getting married! No pretenses. Marisa’s quote resonates in my head. I love it! Reading this just made me relive every single happiness of that day!
    http://twoweasinapod.blogspot.com/2009/07/backtracking-part-1-how-it-all-came-to.html

  83. Great Story! Beautiful Dress!

  84. I was totally freaking about only having 10 weeks … if she can do it in 1 i can handle 10!

  85. Wow. This is a really great reminder of what’s important. I bet if you asked them they would tell you their wedding could not have been better if they’d planned it for 6 months. Bravo!

  86. Am smiling but there are tears in my eyes, is such and beautiful wedding and a great idea. May the good Lord bless their marriage.

    Thanks

  87. Oooh my God! it’s soo beautiful. It’s great to have a suprise wedding. I love it. I wish I could have one myself. It’s sweet, lovely and exciting, I’ll also say God bless to her mom she did well by helping her daughter to make her dream come true.

    Thank you.

  88. What a wonderful fairytale story! Will keep this article to pass on to my daughter. There is nothing better than a surprise. This will be a memorable moment of a lifetime for the happy couple to reflect on – living life to the fullest!
    Wedding Dress- $5,000, Cake-$1,000, Surprise Wedding-Priceless

  89. that is wounderful!

  90. Having planned a surprise wedding (for the bride and groom!) that I really enjoyed this. For someone who hates GETTING surprises, I sure do enjoy planning and giving them!

  91. Love it! Makes me wish we didn’t already have a venue and everything already booked :-)

  92. A friend sent me a link to this story a couple weeks ago…..HOW AMAZING!?!?!! I’ve read and re-read it at least 3 times…..and sent it to everyone! Congratulations on an amazing wedding, and best wishes!

  93. all I need say is – I have goosebumps!

  94. OHMYGOODNESS!! I love this story! Congratulations guys!

  95. ,,,a perfect story to a new beginning,,,indeed it’s giving me ideas,,,(smile)

  96. Oh my gosh! That is so amazing and I want to copy this idea for myself!

  97. What a wonderful story! I’ve always been so intrigued by surprise weddings but concerned that not everyone you want there would be able to make it (I usually have to forgo engagement parties due to a hectic work schedule and friends across the country) but their story made me believe it might be possible!

  98. I am crying. That is fantastic and courageous and beautiful. Congratulations, lovelies! You are an inspiration.

  99. Great story…and great pictures!

  100. In 8 days my partner & I will be hosting our surprise wedding (posed as a birthday party)
    Marisa & John’s photos on Studio 7′s blog was one of the first Surprise wedding examples I came across last year while researching ideas.
    I only hope our day can be half as beautiful as theirs!

    As far as our plans go, the RSVPs went better than expected, and all the planning was FUN without the pressure.
    It is a relief to read the comments & see that the idea of a surprise wedding is well-received.
    And the countdown is on…..

  101. I have read this entry several times today. This wedding is so inspiring AND comforting. THANK YOU!

  102. LOVE LOVE LOVE this…. the stories, the pictures…. love it!!!

  103. this story is amazing! SO perfect!

  104. oh my gosh! what an amazing story. brought me to tears! (: thanks for sharing!

  105. If it is what the couple wants, ANYTHING can be done! Our shortest wedding setup was 23 hours. Good for them!

  106. BRAVO!!

    SO well done! This is one of the best wedding posts I’ve read in a long time. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to Marisa and John.

  107. this story was AWESOME! I loved it – every part every word! I need tissue now.

  108. We are playing with this idea. I want a very small wedding, so we are thinking of renting a vacation house and just have all of my family (I am not from here, but only about 2-3 hours away) for an “engagement” party. We want non-traditional (I am getting married in red…) The house that we are looking at is only about 15 minutes from town at the base of the mountain, which is our favorite place to go, so family probably won’t suspect anything (unless they read this!) It allows us to plan our wedding. Not like that movie a few years ago, Our Family Wedding….

  109. Someone on a wedding message board wrote that she was toying with the idea of having her wedding at her engagement party. I immediately thought of this post…from two years ago!

    This post and the pictures still make me tear up! Thanks to everyone involved for sharing this.

  110. I am SO glad to have found this post, because my boyfriend and I were just saying the other day that we want to have a surprise wedding, too! We just found out last week that we are expecting our first baby, and after talking it over we decided that we want to get married before he/she joins us in February. So my mom and I started semi-planning a small wedding the other day (because we want to have a bigger wedding after our little bundle of joy comes) and when I brought it up to my bf that I wanted to let people know we DID NOT want any gifts (we just had a housewarming party, and will have a baby shower THEN a wedding?? That’s just too much to ask from our nearest and dearest in my opinion) he said “Why don’t we plan the baby shower, and surprise everyone by getting married then?” I was like “OMG! Best. Idea. Ever!”

    So thank you for giving us something to work with! Love the pics and am so inspired by your story!! :o )

  111. Hello new readers! We’re so excited this post is making the rounds again. We still tear up when we read it too. Such a beautiful, inspired story. Just what a wedding should be!

  112. Great ideas and experience for the wedding .Thanks for your share .

  113. Congratuation !!Marisa & John, it is really A surprise wedding! Best wishes!

  114. This story comes in amazement to me! My fiance are doing a surprise weedding in 2weeks ! Its just so funny because I have planned most of our day so far and it sounds much like yours! I was glad to read this article because it made me feel some relief about our plans! Thanks for sharing!

  115. I loved this story and of course i cried at the end. Best Wishes to the Happy Couple!!! I would love to do this!!!

  116. Totally amazing, thank you so much for sharing this!

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  118. beautiful story! the ceremony looks like a photogs nightmare though…

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