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Dear ESB: Can I tell my cousin-to-be to CHOOSE ANOTHER DATE?

January 27, 2012

Eeek. Sticky situation, best handled by our resident drama/etiquette expert East Side Bride.

Dear ESB,

I’ve been engaged for about a year. We set a date about, I think, 8 or so months ago and have been saving every penny to pay for our wedding. To our delight, every dating couple in my fiance’s family seemed to hurriedly up their marital plans during the time of our engagement. I know that it’s not “all about us,” and have happily bought plane tickets, shower gifts, wedding gifts, bridesmaids dresses, shoes, alterations, and, to the best of my ability, been happy and excited for them.

My question is this…. 

A close cousin to the groom got engaged to his short-term gf immediately after one of the siblings’ weddings. After a few jokes were made about actually taking our wedding date, she chose to have her wedding the weekend before. 

The cousin spoke to my in-laws asking them if we minded (they said that it sounded like an inconsiderate idea), and then the cousin called us. Their reasons were that the bride wants a fall wedding, doesn’t want to be associated with Halloween, and wants to go to home football games. We politely asked them to chose any other date. 

A month later the cousin called again asking if we minded. More forcefully, we urged him not to pick the date. The cousin knows he’s stepping on toes, but when he tells the bride she “cries as if I told her her dog died.” I’d like to talk directly to the bride, but she won’t call us back.  

Am I being a bridezilla?  What would you do in this situation?  

Tired of his family


You said your piece. Now you have to STFU.

Betcha the bride will cry even harder when family members who received your save-the-date first decline the invitation to her wedding.

(Photo by Emma Summerton for W Magazine via Fashion Gone Rogue.)