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Dear ESB: Your thoughts on a “starter” engagement ring, pls.

July 16, 2013

It’s been way too long since we’ve had East Side Bride over here to share some of her insightful views on wedding etiquette with us. This one is so pertinent, don’t you think?

Dear ESB engagement ring dilemma | East Side Bride on 100 Layer Cake

Dear ESB,

My husband’s best friend just sent me this email asking for advice:

S,

I have talked to J a couple of times about the possibility/likelihood that I will propose to A this summer/fall and while I’m trying to come up with the right time and situation I’m also trying to figure out the whole ring thing.

J had suggested, for a couple of reasons, that I get her a temporary ring (is that what you call it?) For one, money is very tight right now and we have a pending trip to Istanbul this fall that may or may not get canceled depending on what A’s work decides. If we go, fun but also even worse money situation. Also, I’ve failed in picking out jewelry for her in the past and she even said at some point a few months ago that if I was ever going to get her an engagement ring that she wanted to pick it out.

So yeah, that’s where I’m left. And my point of emailing you is in hopes that you might have some suggestions for what a temporary ring is or would look like/cost. I realize you guys aren’t like best friends or whatever, but I feel more comfortable asking you at this point. And, really, any guidance you might have is more than I know right now so whatever you offer is appreciated.

Thanks!
K

Is the whole idea of a starter engagement ring stupid? Should he just get her something affordable but awesome? But then there’s his whole point about sucking at picking out jewelry for her and how she mentioned she wanted to choose the ring herself. Should he do a ringless proposal altogether?

*****

Lady said she wants to pick it out, SHE WANTS TO F*CKING PICK IT OUT.

Tell him to propose with a twistie tie. Or a gumball ring. Or NOTHING. Nothing would be just fine.

Wish I (2012) by Kensuke Koike