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Rehearsal Dinner style with ESB

100lc_preview — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 11:30:07 +0000

We love having East Side Bride pop over every few weeks with her totally candid advice for brides-to-be, but she has such a great fashion sense, we thought we’d have her over for some purely style-focused posts too. Bueno, right?

Here she goes with her take on rehearsal dinner dresses for many different sorts of brides.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I’ve gotten a bunch of requests for rehearsal dinner dresses recently (WEDDING SEASON IS UPON US), so I figured I’d knock em all out in one big roundup.

For the bride who’s been “flip-flopping between ‘fun’ and prim – and can’t seem to find a balance,” the Rachel Comey Flippant Dress (via NOTCOUTURE) or the Madewell Floral Croquet Dress.

For the bride whose rehearsal dinner is doubling as a tea ceremony for her fiancé’s Chinese-Vietnamese family, Diane von Furstenberg’s New Julian Wrap Dress or Deianira Faux Wrap Dress.

(This was a tough one. The bride explained that ideally she’d wear a red cheongsam, but the sizes carried by the shops in her local Chinatown are too small for her. If only I could track down one of these Phillip Lims!)

For the bride who requested “A red carpet dress, A sequined, metallic New Year’s Eve number that will make me feel fabulous!” the Vince Cluster Sequin Silk Dress or the Halson Heritage Pleated Lamé Mini Dress.

And for the almost-too-cool-to-be-bothered bride, I’m a big fan of the ASOS WHITE Cupro Oversized Dress (via one of my fab readers).

A little piece of advice for all the brides out there? Just, please, don’t wear a white dress to the rehearsal dinner. It really kills the suspense.

Dear ESB: My mom wants to wear white

100layercake — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:00:06 +0000

ACK! Just the title of this Dear ESB is enough to send anyone with just a glimmer of etiquette in their eyes over the edge. And Yay! ESB is back. We’ve missed her.

dear esb,

does the old adage that mothers of the bride (and groom, for that matter) don’t wear white (or cream, or ivory) still hold true?

my mother asked me what i wanted her to wear to the wedding, and when i said ‘i don’t mind, whatever you want, you have good taste’, she insisted i give her an opinion. so i said, ‘well it would be nice if you wore some blue’ – because blue is a theme colour in the wedding. next thing i know, she has found an outfit that a) i don’t think is flattering, and b) is entirely cream/ivory with pale blue accents. she very much wanted to know what i thought of it.

when i pointed out to her that i thought it might look a little odd that she was choosing to wear the exact same colour as me (not just ivory, but ivory with pale blue accents) she got somewhat miffed about it. the thing is, she also wore a creamy colour to my brother’s wedding a year ago, and his bride thought it was pretty weird, too. if my mother is setting a trend with this, i think our extended family might think it’s quite strange. i just think it looks kind of odd – scene-stealing, almost – for the mother of the bride to wear ivory. for that matter, i didn’t think it was de rigueur for anyone to wear a white or ivory dress to a wedding. (except the bride, obvs.)

i’m not worried she will steal my thunder, i just want to know if i’m on the ball about this being a bit strange or whether i’m being hopelessly old-fashioned and people not wearing white/ivory to other people’s weddings is no longer a thing?

p.s. i know i did say to her “wear whatever you want”, but i think there was an implied “within reason” there. like, no circus costumes, no stripper outfits, no quasi-bridal dresses. as my sister said to me later, “if mom was getting remarried now, this is the sort of outfit you’d expect her to wear to her own wedding.”

*****

I’m old-fashioned too. I agree 500% that the bride should be the only one wearing white.

A mother-of-the bride in white is just plain creepsville. Feel free to tell your mom I said so.

(Photo by Irving Penn via Charles Hall via PRORSUM)

Dear ESB: I’m torn about the dress

100layercake — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 18:40:46 +0000

ESB is back again, ladies. Yay. We missed her last week.

Dearest esb,

I’m torn about the dress. I was ALL over the place with what I wanted, and thought I’d land with something more offbeat than the usual long white gown, probably short-ish (my ‘maids are planning on buying me a killer pair of heels, so of course shorter would be great to show them off), possibly vintage. I never thought I’d be buying a gown from a bridal boutique. BUT I thought I’d found the one when I tried on a Marchesa sample- not what I was expecting necessarily, but STUNNING, and I fell in love. Without considering all the wedding day factors, like lots of other brides fault on too, I bought it.

This dress weighs approximately 20 pounds, and is layer upon layer of material, AKA thick as hell. It’s a total ball gown, basically, and I’m starting to freak- I’m getting married in southern California, in July, in a backyard (mind you this isn’t going to be a small picnic-y backyard wedding. It’ll be a big, not too casual party, but a backyard no less). Am I fully crazy for wearing a dress of that, er, caliber in July? I feel like it’s totally impractical. I might be sweating my ass off, and I wouldn’t call it the most mobile dress either for dancing or walking for that matter, especially on grass and around a pool. I don’t doubt I could sell it and find something amazing that’s more apt, and that I could love just as much,* if not more- but a few of my girls seem to disagree. They think “it’s MARCHESA, it’ll be worth it to make it work.” I know I have to go with what works for me because it’s my wedding, my dress, but now I feel blinded as to if selling it’s the right decision or not. My friends are making me question my judgement. HALP!

Xx,

-Fellow east side bride.

*for ME, the whole dress thing being “oh it’s the ONE” is bullsh*t. I’m sure there are several dresses in this world I would love to wear on my wedding day. Perhaps I just answered my own question, but I would love your advice, and the advice of your readers. Don’t rip me apart, please. Thx.

*****

Go try on some more dresses. Either you’ll find a new one, or you’ll realize you love the ONE you’ve got. Win-win.

(Image via Laurel Thompson via yay!everyday)

Dear ESB: Can we split the guest list?

100layercake — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 12:12:55 +0000

Yay! It’s ESB again. She’s so on it with her advice-giving, don’t you think?

Dear ESB,

My fiance and I are getting married in April. We’ve been wanting to have a smaller ceremony (in the park, before the party) with just immediate family and closest friends. I loved this idea but can’t help thinking that if we’re asking people to travel (to NY from all over) they sort of deserve to see us do The Thing. He would still really prefer just family, but I feel like we’d be cheating our extended family and friends. What do you think? Would you travel cross-country for a (fun, not-stuffy, casually-sophisticated) party? We’re making the guest list now (we just decided on the date so full speed ahead) and it looks like 130ish. This does seem like a lot to squeeze under a tree, but we could hold the ceremony at our reception place if need be. I want him to be happy and feel comfortable but also want to honor our guests.

What do you think?

*****

If you asked me to fly across the country to attend your wedding reception but didn’t invite me to the ceremony, I’d probably skip it. I’d assume I didn’t make the people-who-are-really-important-to-you cut, so why should I shell out for plane fare?

The Thing is what the wedding’s all about. Yes, everyone deserves to see you do it. Yes, extended family and friends will feel cheated if they’re not included. But more importantly: It will be meaningful for you to have them there as witnesses.

And then the whole reception will be infused with this incredible joy that you all share. It won’t just be people drinking champagne and saying, “Congratulations! How was the ceremony?”

(Photo by Josh Goleman)

Dear ESB: What do I put in my hair?

100layercake — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:35:46 +0000

We have another installment of the guest column by East Side Bride today. Hooray! This one is something all brides can relate to. And ESB has the perfect solution, as always. Here we go:

Dear ESB,

I’ve attached a photo of my wedding dress. Do you have suggestions on what to wear in my hair? I’m over the birdcage, I’m over the tulle. Everyone has flowers. Do you have any suggestions or ideas? I’ve effed myself with this situation, my dress is cream and I’m just not finding anything right now.

Lemme know.

(That is not me in the picture, btw.)

******

Dear That Is Not Me,

I think you should go with a good old-fashioned veil. I think, in fact, the good old-fashioned veil is about to come back with a VENGEANCE. (You heard it here first).

How bout this silk tulle version with lace trim by Twigs & Honey? It’s tulle that doesn’t scream T-U-L-L-E, if you know what I mean. And I think it’ll give just the right touch of softness to the lace badassery that is your dress.

XOXO,
ESB

p.s. Myra is happy to do custom orders if you give her enough lead time, so by all means get the veil in cream.