25 Jul

Leave it to Ms. East Side Bride to set matters straight. Especially when this happens between you and your BFF that just so happens to be planning her wedding right alongside yours. We’re siding with ESB on this one… you?

Dear ESB,

My best friend got engaged 6 weeks before I did.

I feel that since she got engaged first, she should have first dibs on a date. She has selected May 11th, 2013. But she doesn’t have a location, much less a guest list.

She is somewhat of a procrastinator and now that I have my wedding location locked down, I’d like to lock down a date. I was planning on getting married the last weekend in March or the first weekend of April.

How far apart do I need to space the weddings? I want to make sure that her or my honeymoon doesn’t overlap with the pre-wedding festivities, like the bridal shower, bachelorette, etc.

Waiting in Vain

*****

Obvs, your friend can’t lock down her date until she locks down a LOCATION. And she can’t lock down a location until she knows how many people she’s inviting.

She could fall in love with some crazy venue that doesn’t have availability until August! Or she could procrastinate her little heart out and postpone the wedding a whole year.

I say book the date you want before you lose your effing mind.

Photo: Ruche Fall via This Modern Romance

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Comments

  1. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/9LNfWBaD via @100LayerCake #wedding

  2. Leave it to Ms. East Side Bride to set matters straight. Especially when this happens between you and your BFF t… http://t.co/vhxM359G

  3. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/SeXrzosQ

  4. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/Iyp8KZUy #bridal #wedding

  5. Yeah! Ms.@eastsidebride is back with a juicy Dear ESB. Chime in ladies! http://t.co/jwmuQTW2

  6. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/cxQkaOzQ

  7. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together?: Leave it to Ms. East Side Bride to set matter… http://t.co/xV9TyoCm

  8. ugh. my best friends went through this (but they wanted the same date) and i was stuck in the middle, it was the worst.

    but, i agree with ESB- you need to settle instead of waiting for her, b/c who knows what she will end up doing.

    then, TALK TO HER. figure out your date and then, before you confirm it, check in with her and say, we are thinking xyz day and i just want to make sure that this won’t conflict with your wedding events… it’s important to me to be there for you and that you can be there for me, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah.

  9. I too agree with ESB. In order to stick to her date she will need to confirm a location first as the one she may want, may not have the date available especially since she is a procrastinator. As long as your weddings aren’t too far apart in location, I think having them close date wise shouldn’t matter. If they were both destination weddings, now that would be a different story and more taxing on your guests.

    Ultimately, it’s your day and you should do what you want and your friend should understand that and do the same.

  10. the cakelets are verrrrrrrrrrry quiet this afternoon. can i go ahead and just assume that i nailed this one? http://t.co/WA69qYZA

  11. I agree with ESB on this one! March ’13 is really not that far off, and people have to make arrangements. But, I think it’s important to sit the friend down and explain this to her: Let her know that you’ve chosen a venue and a date, and that you’re happy to help her with her planning but you and your guy need to get your plans set in stone (“You know, for family..”)

  12. That’s the first! Cakelets, where you at? RT @eastsidebride: the cakelets are verrrrrrrrrrry quiet this afternoon. http://t.co/c1JTgbGW

  13. I am with ESB on this one… Have a conversation with the friend because spacing them out is important so nobody misses any of the festivities associated with the weddings, but let that be HER issue, not yours.

    It’s hard enough to get your ducks in a row for your OWN wedding, let alone waiting for somebody else? No thank you.

  14. I completely agree with ESB as well as the rest of the comments. Weddings can already be stressful enough and you focusing on your best friend’s wedding just adds pressure.
    As a best friend you did the right thing by asking her to go first since she did get engaged first and a lot of brides-to-be wouldn’t do something like that so kudos to you! However, if she already chose her date she has no right to back out and cause you problems while planning your wedding. If she is a good friend of yours no matter what you decide she should support it and that includes sticking to your date.
    Make sure to have a talk with her. I always say straight forward is always the best solution. Explain to her the situation and just tell her you cannot wait anymore. When it comes to procrastinator’s pressure is the best medicine.
    Katarina I.

  15. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/NTgOzcAQ

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  18. We run a Birmingham event venue. Why not have the weddings the same weekend? Lots of fun for all and no need for people to travel twice.

  19. Definitely with ESB and the other commenters on this one. Organising your own wedding is hard enough without the added stress of waiting on someone who hasn’t even made up their mind!

  20. Dear ESB: How long do I wait for my BFF to get her sh*t together? http://t.co/lwg3FhOb

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